Frailty at 3 AM 02.11.2006

I visited two people in two hospitals today.
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A man: a lost soul with serious injuries from a bad fall.
A woman: a beautiful, young, servant lady of God with an infection from a recent heart catheter.

I get upset when my car rolls over another 1,000 miles.
I hate when I forget to put on long johns under my jeans.
I felt like I might be missing out when Les and I had to leave our friend’s house at 1am this morning, earlier than other people.
I get mad when I forget my sunglasses.
I hate that my motorcycle doesn’t work right now (in the dead of winter).
I am annoyed when my computer won’t start up quickly.
I complain that my cell phone isn’t fast.

There is a fire that burns within me, within us, that refuses to go out - it hates goodness and virtue - it is a wretched heart of pride. It is my stupid envy and my relentless strife. I am mastered over by the god of self - the lord of me. There is a sinfully, constant itchiness in my heart that this world is about the bettering of me, for me.

I visited two people in two hospitals today.

I was reminded, like these two, that I am as frail and dependent on the new mercies of God as a three minute old baby. I pray that God in his mercy decides to pour more on me tomorrow than He did today - more wonder in His Name, more grace to complete my blink of a life.

I am a stupid man, unable to think clearly, reliant on the unbreakable grasp of Goodness. When I leave this Round Place I want to be less of me and more of Him. I would love to care less about mileage and sunglasses, cell phones and long johns, just long enough to care about the Reason for reason - the Man we call Goodness, the Man we call Grace.

Please pray that we see that God is good through the circumstances of these two - one in need of a Salvation - the other in need of the soft right hand of an understanding Lord.